Episode 10 - In Memoriam, Jon Theories, and The Dornish Debacle

We did it. We made it to the end. This episode has everything you could want, including a comprehensive in memoriam section. Yes, I included the dude who got his face impaled by the spear from Obara. I also discuss the season as a whole, the episode in specifics, and the places we might be going from here. Thanks for taking this journey with me. Valar Morghulis. 

CLICK HERE to listen.

(I also realize that I called him "Jon Stark" a fair amount. My bad. It was late.)

Episode 9: Dragons, LeBron, and Super Smash Brothers

This is the longest episode of the podcast yet. But don't worry, it's only like 45 minutes. Maybe even a bit shorter. And there are bits in there that aren't even really that bad, if you pay little enough attention. I yammer on about my inability to predict anything in this damn show, discuss how unrealistic it is that Arya seems to be an invisible person who can go wherever she wants, and also might get into a rather lengthy explanation of the possibilities for a Thrones-themed Smash title.

It's a lot of fun.

I Googled "Game of Thrones Super Smash Bros." and... close enough.

CLICK HERE to listen.

Episode 8 - Hardhome

Because, really, what else happened in this episode? Well, actually, like 20 minutes of podcast happened before even getting into it. Somehow. But you should still listen, because we discuss how the White Walkers are hierarched (a word I just made up), why Sansa's scene was secretly the second most mind-blowing of the episode, and discuss who wins in a battle royale between a fictional dragon, a fictional multi-headed serpent, and two fictional legions of pure evil. It's a good time, trust me.

Yes, really.

LISTEN HERE

Episode 7 - Gifts, Eunuch Rankings, and Game of Bachelors

It's late, I had to be at work at 7:15 today, and I'm not interested in writing an episode description. I talk about some Thronesian stuff including how big of a dick Reek is despite not having one, which eunuch is the best, and also the first time the Queen of Thorns ever lost a conversation. Godspeed, listeners.

GET IT HERE. 

Episode 6 - Color-Coded Weddings, Bronn as Bond, and Starting to Get Reek

This past episode of Game of Thrones was incredible. I laughed. I cried. Well I didn't really cry because it's a TV show and I'm an adult, but watching Alfie Allen cry was not easy. That man already has a more famous sister, he shouldn't have to go through much more heartache.

Regardless, we forage on, deeper into the Benioff- and Weiss-created world of Thrones, in which Sansa really does get married to Ramsay (instead of fake-Arya-but-actually-Sansa's-friend-Jeyne) and Littlefinger basically wins half the realm in two swoops. Always swooping, that one.

CLICK HERE to listen.

Shithead.

Episode 5 - Valyria's History, Grey Worm's Love Problems, and the Rangers Game

The past episode of Game of Thrones wasn't good. There, I said it. Episode 5, "Kill the Boy," somehow managed to be both dull and infuriating at the same time. Dany barbecued a dude and it was all downhill from there. Fortunately, I watched the Rangers and Capitals in overtime in Game 7 during the recording of this podcast, so at least there was some excitement somewhere.

I also rant on Grey Worm's subplot, Jorah's conflation with a book character, and what the fuck is happening in the Iron Islands.

CLICK HERE to listen.

Episode 4 - History of Meereen, Awesomeness of Bronn, and a Weakling Fight

Toppa the mornin' to ya! [Read that in Bronn's King's Landing accent]. Welcome to another episode of Bone Up On Your Thrones, the one and only podcast that is created by me. This episode contains some BOOK SPOILERS, so watch out. But honestly, they're kind of obvious at this point in the show, and if you haven't figured them out, you need to bone up on your Thrones.

Yup.

I just dropped the name of the podcast into the show description.

Holy shit that's cool.

Anyway, I also discuss the history of Meereen and why they're so upset about Dany's conquest, go over some great parts of the show, and take a great question from my friend about who wins in a fight between 4 of the weakest male characters in the show (besides Robin Arryn, because that kid's a fuckboy).

LISTEN HERE

Episode 3 - Hair Color, Eye Color, and Hypothetical Dragon Battles

Welcome back! After a week off for sick leave, we're back discussing the greatest contribution that a fat white man has made to American pop culture since James Gandolfini. In this episode I go on a vision quest discussing how big an influence physical descriptions play in this series, go through the latest episode, and discuss several hypothetical battles (because why not?).

Check out the fun HERE.

Episode 2 - A New Name, a New Season, and One Tiny Race

Ladles and jellyspoons,

Welcome to Episode 2 of my "Game of Thrones" podcast, which now has a name! You can officially refer to this piece of wonderful auditory recording by the sensual name "Bone Up on Your Thrones." This name was suggested by listener and great friend Lauren Mack, so thank  you Lauren for that.

If you don't want to say all those words because the title is admittedly too long, you can just go with BUOYT. Like buoy, with a t. Nice.

Anyway, in this episode I yap about the geography of Martin's "Thrones"-verse, the series's first-ever flashback, and the first episode of season five, then get down to the big questions like who would win in a race between the teeniest characters and which one has the most downfield potential.

CLICK HERE for podcast time.

Episode 1 - Who's Where, What Happened, and Where are We Going?

Hey everybody,

Welcome to my first foray into the world of podcasting. It's April, and you know what that means - it's fucking Thrones season. Strap on your greatsword and let's get this thing going.

Today we take a trip down memory lane with some discussion of last season's major characters and events, quickly dip into the cut-scene-filled trailer, and wrangle over such succulent audience questions as who would win a fight to the death between two of the best pure fighters in the series, who would I rather be between Brienne and Joffrey, and just how big of a fuckboy is Grayson Allen?

Just kidding, that's not the question. Or is it?

CLICK HERE for podcast time.

VS.